Her birthday

Today is my mom's birthday. I can never remember how old she is, exactly. 58? It's strange to watch her life evolve from being a mother of five to an empty-nester. The youngest, my sister, just moved out in June.

Of all her kids, my sister is the closest to home. She lives about 45 minutes away. The rest of us are spread out: Chicago, Arizona, Boston. I like being mobile, meeting new cities, but it has been strange. I've never even met three of my four nieces and nephews. You get a lot, but you give up a lot too.

So today's her birthday and I'm not there. We've never been particularly close or anything remotely close to that, but it's a reminder. Another instance where I'm here, not there. Not that I wanted to be there when I was there ...

It's a rainy day, so my thoughts are running down the sides of windows too. It's beautiful to let chaos win sometimes.