Having been down the labor and delivery road for the first time two months ago, I'm still grappling with the fact that the majority of well-wishers ignored or shied away from hearing about my experience. All of the attention was on the baby, and of course that should be the main focus, but having gone through such an intense experience, it should be shared and celebrated.
When someone did ask, they generally were competitive about it. "How long were you in labor?" "14 hours." "Oh, that's not bad. I was in labor for 22, and then I had to have C-section ..." etc. I felt no cooperative, sharing moment between women who asked about my labor, and with many, many women going through it at least once in their lives, it should be a source of connection, not competition. It should be a source of enlightenment for those who have not given birth. It should be shared.
So here's your challenge: tell a labor story. Yours, your mom's, your best friend's. Ask them what it was like, how they felt. What surprised them? How scared were they? Did many people ask their labor story? Let's share these stories because they deserved to be told. Moms deserve to be honored. Labor, She Roared.
Post a comment when you've blogged about so I can add a link to your story. If you don't have a blog, post your story in the comments. And if you're just curious and have questions about labor, let 'em rip. Labor shouldn't be a secret, and this is my effort to honor the experience.
Electronic Goose's story
Questionnaire for everyone who stopped talking to me
5 months ago
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4 comments:
I don't have a labor story to share, but I just want to say that I find them fascinating, and was thrilled that you shared yours here.
Geez, every time I try to tell my story I get interrupted. Yes it is like some type of competition. I have felt slighted by many that did the "natural" way because I "copped out" and got a c-section. I feel a little left out because there is no way in the world I could ever safely have a vaginal birth. Many vaginal birthers tune out once you say you had a cesarean. Like it was easier or something. Believe me vaginal sounds alot harder to me and the recovery is a breeze compared to a cesarean. After a section you can hardly laugh, poop, sit, sit-up, bend, put pants, underwear, socks & shoes on. You are recovering from MAJOR surgery! Guess I can understand when you have a lousy experience it's alot harder to enjoy someones "beautiful" birth experience without feeling envious. Specially when you HAVE to have your baby a certain way and there's no choice about it. Does that make any sense? I'll post my birth story one of these days. It's way too long and gross. The placental abruption did not make it any easier and all the drugs suck!!!!! Wishing I had the choice.
I don't have a story to share either - other than my friend's. She was induced and after over 8 hours of labor - with no progress she had a c-section. She made having a baby look easy - now I wasn't in the room with her but we stayed the whole night and were allowed in to see her periodically and each time she was all smiles - even under drugs and pain. I do appreciate you telling your story - and when I do have a little one - I will be sure to share mine. :)
Childbirth is the one of the things that makes me very happy I'm not a woman.
My birth-mother Anne tells me that I "hurt like hell" coming out.
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